Not to sound like a broken record, but you’re doing a fantastic job for where you are in your video journey. Everyone is always their toughest critic, and seeing how you’re being constructive with yourself rather than trying to put yourself down, I’m not going to blow smoke up the backside.
Regarding the video you felt was a mistake back a few posts, let me ask you this since you are a teacher: When your child makes a mistake, what do you do with it? What did your parents do with your mistakes when you made them? That’s what I’d recommend you do with your “mistake video”. Use it as a learning experience. Try to examine, from those points, what looks like is going through your mind. Are you losing thoughts and trying to fill dead air? I look at someone like Alex let dead air go sometimes upwards of 10 seconds. I find it awkward, but does it try to convey that he’s not trying to come up with a bull-dropping?
Never let anyone detract you about having notes. If you’re preparing what you have to say to us, it means that you respect us as people and want us to have the best product. At least I remember that being why Mister Rogers never did an ad-lib.